I love the underground tube in London. The way those people squash their unclean bodies up against you, the way they ignore old people standing and crush their bags instead onto a much needed seat…I love London! I end up just shouting at people and telling them to move out the way or move to let a pregnant woman sit down! I am a grumpy old woman on transport. I just hate the way people ignore others and become ignorant to others needs in public. I always give up my seat; help with prams and heavy luggage, and by writing this I now sound like a really old lady who learnt lessons during the Second World War.

I particularly hate the way twenty five Italian teens with backpacks cram onto the pavement and refuse to let anyone through, so the only way along the street is to step onto the dangerously busy Cromwell rd. Not me people, I simply gird my wee loins and push my way right through the middle of these irritating folks, they scatter like cheap ten pins and some of them even fall onto the dangerous road and realise how scary walking into the traffic can be! I love London.

London isn’t frightening, despite people trying to constantly worry bus about terrorism. The news is full of scary stories.

Is it just me or are you still wondering what happened to all those dangerous people the police pointed guns at in Clitheroe in Lancashire last week? Apparently a ‘Big bad thing was going to happen’ after they caught some Asian men taking photo’s of a shopping centre in Manchester. Turns out the Police and government didn’t have enough evidence to have these dawn raids. But at least we know the ‘Big bad thing’ hasn’t happened. Fear, people, that’s what they want us to suffer…fear!

I am not scared, I have been on buses and trains since I arrived and I won’t be put off. London city is amazing and you need to get round it to enjoy it!

The gigs have been great fun, especially Tiffany’s gig at Girls with Guns at the Phoenix, EdComedy at the Hob in Foresthill and Downstairs at the Kings Head in Crouch End, such supportive and great intimate gigs. Tomorrow I will be at Comedy Camp in Soho and that is just a lovely wee room as well.

Other than doing comedy, I have been getting my posters, images and entry’s done for the Edinburgh fringe. The deadlines scare me, I worry myself sick about it and get really fractious over every single word in the brochure, and turns out people don’t actually read the fucking thing and go see comedy on either a whim or a recommendation, so all the worrying was for nothing!

Ashley is happy at home and is still determined that I buy her a birthday present on my homecoming, but she doesn’t want – jewellery/electronic goods/handbags/shoes/clothes/furniture/books/DVD’s/gift vouchers/cash…so am fucking stuck! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO GET HER! Ashley if you are reading this...help?