I immediately switched on the BBC news channel.

The engine had exploded on impact, and then they ran out and started to throw petrol onto the flames.

What they really under estimated was Glasgow’s fierce winds; the fucking petrol and flames blew back and set fire to their heads. Then the police and Scottish bystanders ran around the place looking for the terrorists…erm…excuse me I think you will find that the two people with their hair on fire, screaming Allah may be the people you are looking for!

What amazed me and made me laugh my ass off was the Scottish stoic attitude to the first Al Qaeda attack on our soil.

Glaswegians were all over the BBC news talking calmly about the scary event. For instance, when the BBC reporter asked what had happened the wee old man actually said live on the worlds news.

“Well, two P.P...(Almost saying the word Paki which is horribly offensive) Asian fellows came running towards me, their hair was on fire, I fought in the war son, so I kicked one of them to the ground and the rain never stopped once, I cannae believe this rain in June can you? I suppose that’s my flight to Magaluf fucked then eh? ”

I sat in Leeds and pissed myself laughing, you see Glaswegian people don’t understand Muslim terrorists, they keep asking “Are they Catholic or Protestant Muslims?” We only understand sectarianism, after years of IRA and UDA fighting all over the UK, we really have only got our heads around that!

We just cannot believe it has happened as we just don’t understand it at all especially as all the events of terror that day had failed. I think they may be the Provisional Al Qaeda; these people aren’t very good at their job. Also it is the first time the apparent fundamentalists haven’t attempted suicide in their attacks. So it’s all very odd and hap hazard to be honest.

The other strange and funny thing is the UK police are calling the police investigation ‘Operation Cobra’ which is so fucking funny as ‘Cobra’ is a famous Asian/Indian Beer here in the UK. It’s like saying we will call our operation after a beer that you guys make but shouldn’t be allowed to drink if you are true to your religion!

I am not scared anymore, I am Scottish and more worried that some drug addled fuck wit will rob me of my purse.