The rolling hills that line the stunning lake make a great backdrop to Bowness in the Lake District.

The down side is that Beatrix Potter lived there and after the success of the movie Miss Potter- the place is awash with the biggest amount of Japanese tourists you have ever seen in the UK in one small town. Japanese people LOVE Beatrix Potter more than you can imagine.

Now before you jump on the content of that statement and declare it racist hear me out.

I am not averse to Japanese people or any tourists whatever their nationality but squillions and squillions of them in swarms trying to walk in groups through the tiny wee winding crooked lanes of this teensy wee town is really hard to cope with, especially with the sheer amount of traffic that trundles through the place.

I was almost knocked down twice trying to walk around groups of Japanese people who didn’t think to walk in single lines along skinny pavements that lined the major road through Bowness in the Lake District. It was scary.

Portraits of Jemima Puddle duck and her friends in a shop window made huddles of tourists scream in the street and stop to take umpteen photos of them. How bizarre is that?

After the dodgy walk through the town we decided to stay over for the night and we found a lovely hotel with big views across the water. We both sat there and took in the amazing panoramic sight in front of us. We eventually went down to the hotel swimming pool and had a wee swim around.

After I went down under the warm water, my ear popped and I came up to the surface DEAF in my left ear!

My left ear had managed to compact all the wax it makes and jam itself into the ear drum. I could hear nothing but an echo inside my head and it was infuriating.

So today I got a docs appointment and got my ear syringed, its where they squirt warm water deep into your ear canal at a fast rate, then the wax comes gushing out with the water.

The whole experience isn’t uncomfortable at all...in fact it’s quite…erotic in a way. I am sure there is a G Spot inside my ear and as the water gushes around it, it was quite sexy and nice in an odd way! I may get addicted to it.

Now my health complaints have increased - I have discovered that I have a lump the size of a small pea on my wrist. It’s called a Ganglion or something like that.

Ashley called it a Porpoise as she forgot the word Ganglion and told my dad I have a porpoise on my hand- and the doc told me I have to have it cut out.

So now I have to arrange surgery. Whoopee…I am falling apart slowly.